Some burning questions of the universe...

• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
• If you are born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
• If you ate pasta and then antipasta, would you still be hungry?
• If you tried to fail and succeeded, which have you done?
• Is a castrated pig, disgruntled?
• Why are haemorriods called haemorroids instead of asteroids?
• Why is it called the tourist season if we can't shoot them?
• Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
• If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole plane made out of the stuff?
• Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
• Before they invented drawing boards what did they go back to?
• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
• How do I set my laser printer on stun?
• If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
• If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, . . . is he still wrong? (YES!)
• If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
• Is there another word for synonym?
• Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
• When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
• Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
• Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
• What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
• Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
• Why do they lock gas station restrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
• If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
• Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
• Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain

  silent?

• Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
• How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
• Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
• Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
• What was the best thing before sliced bread

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