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Report Cards
These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers
in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded
but boy, are these funny!
- Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has
started to dig.
- I would not allow this student to breed.
- Your child has delusions of adequacy.
- Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
- Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails
to achieve them.
- The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic
thingy to hold it all together.
- This child has been working with glue too much.
- When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, you should sell.
- The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
coming.
- If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered
twice a week.
- It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat
out 1,000,000 others.
- The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
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