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"So where did you come from again?"
"Hong Kong. It's in the southern part of China."

"Oh wow. This must be a big change for you coming from such a small place to live in such a big city."


(At this point, I had to catch my breath. Obviously, this person thought I lived in some sort of village in the middle of nowhere.)


"Actually, Hong Kong is a much bigger city than here. There are 7 million people living there."

"Oh, I see -- I never knew Hong Kong was such a big country. So which city in Hong Kong are you from?"

"Actually, Hong Kong is a city in China. And it's actually a geographically very small place, much much smaller than Toronto is."

"Wow, are you for real?


One of the poorer impressions I've had about the people here. I was speaking to people during frosh week, and it's actually amazing how many people know nothing but their own back yard. No, this isn't the person in the conversations below. I've never seen this person ever again. This conversation is NOT exaggerated.

This person lived in Cambridge, Ontario. Note: Waterloo has a population of just over 100000 people, Kitchener, under 200000(as of Oct 2002). Kitchener Waterloo are considered to be twin cities.


"So, what is it with Chinese people and eating rice anyway? Are the Chinese too poor to have anything other than rice?"

"No, it's because it's a staple food, like wheat and what products is for you guys here in North America. You eat lots more bread than we do, for example. Why? because wheat is easily grown here. Rice is more easily grown where I'm from, so we eat more of it."

"But the main reason why you [Chinese] have rice is because you're poor."

"No, it's because it's a staple food"

"Look, how many fat Chinese people do you see around? Like none. Why? Because you guys don't eat meat and all that sh*t. Why are all North Americans big? It's because we can afford to eat cows and pigs and stuff."

"You see a lot of fat Chinese people too. And what do you mean we can't afford to eat cows and pigs?!"

"Well, you're poor. Look at how backward China is. There's like, what? One big city? Isn't where you're from - Hong Kong - the capital of China? That's the only big city there is."

"No... the population of a few Chinese cities is already greater than that of Canada. Yes, there are a lot of poor people too, but that's not the reason why we eat rice! We eat rice because it grows! If only rice and no wheat grew here, guess what, North Americans would eat it too!"

"Yeah, but we're not poor like you are..."

Middle of an argument with (Name withheld to protect the guilty) - someone in my house. This went on for over 20 minutes between me, Leonard, John, and (Name withheld), all from my floor.


"What's this with you and drinking soya milk? Soya milk is unnatural!"

Me: "Right. Soya milk comes from soya beans. How unnatural can that be?"

"No, soya milk doesn't come from plants."

Me: "Yes it does. You grind up the soyabeans, and do some other stuff which I don't know about, and eventually you get soya milk. "

"Okay, assume it does then. but you have to do so much stuff to it. Real [referring to cow's] milk is so much more natural."

Me: "Yeah, and I assume you know they pasteurize and do all sorts of stuff to the milk before it gets to you, right?"

"Well, yeah. But the way I see it, animal products are so much more rejuvenating than vegetable products."


... later...


"Well, table tennis players don't do anything. They just stand in one spot and hit a tiny ball. How much energy can that possibly take? Same with badminton. It doesn't take evergy at all! Now football -- that's a sport where you hit people a LOT, and it uses a lot of energy!"

Me: "First things first, you're talking about AMERICAN football, not soccer, right? Second, granted you throw your weight around playing American football, but what makes you think that it takes no energy to play badminton and table tennis?"

(another Jason) "Have you ever watched an Olympic table tennis or badminton match before? Do you have any idea how much they run around?"

"Of course I have. What do you think, huh, that all we care about is football and we don't watch the Olympics or something?"


(this conversation lasts for 30 minutes)


Just the beginning of a very long conversation with (name withheld). End result is that a huge argument ensues, going into a comparison of how much energy is used by an American football player and a table tennis player during a typical game, and how vegetarians survive, and why you MUST have meat to survive.


"You know this shop that sells glasses and stuff? [Optical shop] Well, I'm not going to that place anymore. [name of the optical shop hidden to prevent me getting sued] sounds like a Taliban name or something, so I'm never going to that place again!"

"But you've gone to it before, right?"

"Yeah, but that was before I realized it was pronounced like this!"

Another weird dinner conversation.


"Oh my gosh... I got raped so badly by these exams I'm having trouble keeping my pants on."

Steven, on my floor, after a very nasty Physics exam.


"You ACTUALLY got Juilet to be 25kg? I thought I did that wrong, so I put 'Ha, ha, Romeo's a pedophile' on my exam paper! SHIT!"

Steven, after the Phys115 exam. There was a momentum and centre-of-mass question where we had to calculate Juilet's mass.


"Well, the newest software isn't the be-all and end-all of everything... " *blink blink* "Oh my gosh! What did I just say??!"

John (he's in Software Engineering -- does that explain a lot? )


"I'm not going to throw these [leftovers] away until it starts living"

John, while discussing leftovers he was keeping in his fridge


"Well, I couldn't find where my workout pants were, so I made my closet puke"

Joyce, after my comment about how her stuff was spilling all over the place.


Mike: "Hmmm... I usually carry a knife around"

Nick: "THAT's why he carries all his spices and stuff around... with a knife he could chop you up and eat you. Obviously you'd taste pretty bad without any spicing up..."

Mike and Nick, when Mike commented that he couldn't find his knife to cut some dinner up.


"You're so gay that you've practically got a girlfriend behind you!"

"I think that calling a girl 'jiggly' is much worse than calling a gay guy a girl"

John, talking to Shawn -- John had twisted some conversation about Joyce saying she was getting unfit.


"Well, looks like you've managed to get into the 'bully Mei' club!"

Flora, during one of my visits to their suite.


"Oh my god, I'm going STRAIGHT to Hell for this"

Joyce, whenever anything bad happens... this one happened when a new guy moved into our house and she jumped at the first sight of him.


Aaron: "Wow... I haven't seen so many ugly people in a square kilometre in a long time"

Joyce: "Oh, like yourself?"

During a conversation in the hallway... DOUBLE burn!! Ouch! Aaron's quite a big guy, y'see... None of us realized it was a burn until after we thought about it a little while.


"We got a place!"

Leonard, randomly, after we FINALLY found a place to live in for Sept 2003.


"You'd think that as Engineers we should be spending more time on our work rather than working on a novel way to trap Lenny in his room"

John, while we were doing something to Leonard's room


"He's got the music taste of a potato chip!"

Emilie, commenting on someone's music taste


"Wow, look. Pure MSG, in a bag!"

Mike, when we were shopping at an Asian supermarket in Kitchener.


"This smells like dog food."

Mike: "Do YOU know what dog food tastes like?"

"I know what dog food tastes like -- the Kibbles and Bits Cheese things don't taste that bad"

Leonard, on opening a pack of Calbee Potato Chips


"You better sleep with one eye open, so I can stab it!"

John, during a random conversation in the cafeteria.


Leonard: "I wonder what would happen if I overclock my 350 to 3.5 GHz..."

Me: "Well, AMD processors can be overclocked by drawing lines on the chip with a pencil..."

John: "Increased amperage, increased heat."

Me: "Heat goes up, room burns down!"

John: "Yeah, so it all evens out!"

After looking at prices of new computers on John's computer (John's computer messed up permanently and was in the shop).


?: "Whoa, you look tired. What time did you sleep?"

Me: "Sleep? What's this thing you call sleep?"

?: "You know, bed, sleep, lying on your bed and closing your eyes?"

Me: "Oh THAT. That's a little something we Engineers call 'collapse'. See, we don't really sleep - it's just that sometimes we can't take it and just physically collapse. So that is rest. Maybe you can define THAT as sleep."

I forget who I was talking to (maybe since I was so tired) but this was how one of our conversations were like. If you know who you are, email me to fill in that ? mark!


Kenneth: "This steak is so bad... " (stabs the steak with a knife)

Me: "If I was eating with the rest of my house right now, this is about the time the food fight starts"

Cafeteria discussions always seem to gravitate to how bad it is...


There's maybe two snowbanks left on campus, and you had to step on one of them. Wow, Jason, that takes some talent!"

Patricia, when I accidentally stumbled into an ankle high snowbank after the major snowmelt.


"I think Jason died again."

John, to Leonard, when he saw me collapsed on the bed (or rather, failed to find me the first time he looked, as I was camouflaged by the other stuff on my bed) for the umpteenth time.


"No wonder Asians are so thin. Look at you guys -- what kind of white guy goes to the arcade to exercise?"

Aaron, commenting on us playing DDR and ParaParaParadise


Adrienne: "What are you guys doing?"

John: "Bugging Lenny."

Adrienne: "Why?"

John: "Because it's easy!"

When John and I were bugging Leonard :)


"AHA! In your FACE!"

Mark, in ECE 103, shouting because he got something right and Chris didn't. Nayak stops in the middle of a sentence and just stares at him... and never managed to continue properly. (Mark: "No, no, professor, not you! him!")


Leonard: "You're drunk"

Mike: "No I'm not! I only had two shots like 10 minutes ago, so there's not enough time for the alcohol to take over yet!"

Me: "I can just imagine you collapsing on my floor like right now as the alcohol takes over."

Mike: "No, I won't do that, because I have my camera in my pants."

(silence, followed by stares and growing smirks from Leonard and myself)

Mike: "Let me rephrase that. In my pants POCKETS. It would be convenient, wouldn't it, if I put my camera in front of my member so it looks bigger at a party, huh?"

(silence. Leonard and I look at each other)

Me: "You're drunk"

Mike, Leonard and me, having a discussion in my room


"It seems a bit unholy to me that my urine is mixed with other mens'."

Mike, during a dinner conversation about trough-like urinals in different countries.


"Opinion Number One: I'm glad you're wearing pants."

Mike, when he "WASN'T" drunk.


John: "I don't have as much friction on my feet as I would have thought. Stupid socks."

Leonard: "That's why you wear holey socks"

John: "Oh, I just finished throwing out a whole bunch of holey socks."

Lenoard: "Blasphemy!" (not remembering holey = holy)

John, having difficulties with climbing up the wall.


"Does the girl on your wall KNOW that she's going out with you?"

Mike looking at John's wall


"I rode him down a hill"



"So you're drunk off zero-alcohol..."

Leonard to Mike. There was a huge buildup to this comment, but that has slipped the minds of everyone.


"Now John, let me point something out to you. Strawberry milkshake is pink; Chocolate milkshake is brown. Pussy is pink, ass is brown. I have the pink milkshake - what colour do you have, John?"

Mike, explaining his heterosexuality to John during dinner.


"And so we prove this by proof by posterior extraction."

James, during ECE103 lab.


"I'm going to crank my speakers and then leave. I can't stand to be in the same room! It's too loud!"

Yash, talking about "power hour" -- i.e. the hour during exam time when we're allowed to be as loud as we want...


"Just because it's insanely bright out doesn't mean it can't be nighttime!"

John, when talking about his movie "night" which started at 2pm.


"Okay, I'll do you two first."
Jason starts laughing hysterically

"Okay, let me rephrase. I'll service you two first."

John: "That didn't help things, it still sounded bad!"

Mike, referring to CDs of photos that he was to burn for us.


Mike: "I think I'd be the hunter of this tribe"
Tim: "Why, because you look like a Neanderthal?"

During a debate about society and civilization, when we were talking about disabilities (in any form, for example, the rest of us being myopic, except for Tim, Patricia and Mike)


"I think I haven't been represented on your quotes page, so I'm trying to say stuff that will make it on."

Tim, during a conversation we were having in Williams' Coffee Pu


*knock knock*

"Who's there?... oh wait. I was the one that knocked"

Davenport, while he was living at our place


"PACO unfriendly has become an expression for anything that's fun."

"PACO's an acronym that stands for 'if it's fun then it's dangerous which means you can't do it."


"This water's disgusting! It's PACO unfriendly!"

Leonard, at William's


"I believe in random cosmic events - there's a D-150 billion die, and if anything happens they just roll it. To us it just looks random"


"It's Mike's sock -- that's unfair! That's like biological warfare!"

At Pat's birthday party


Mike: "I am sucking out your brain...!"

Patricia: "Mike, what the hell are you doing?"


"I'd like to meet the Masochistic little shit that thought 'Scheme' would be a good idea to write AI in and punch him in the face"

Chris, at 1:30 in the morning, obviously pissed off at Scheme, a programming language


"I've can't take being part of this production line education - I'm rebelling! ... I just need time to figure out how to rebel."

Tim, commenting on the forced curriculum in Physics, during a conversation on how much work we have at university.


"Whoever set this page up should be thankful we live in a country with gun control laws. "

Mike, commenting on the Science Society's website


"He was my roommate in first year; anything and everything he could have done to me, would have been done already."

Matt Ho, commenting on roommates


"I saw asian children! They're so cute!"

Mike, commenting after he went to Conestoga Mall and saw an asian child for the first time (he's from Penatanguishine -- "the first asian guy I saw was in Grade 9")


"The Mongoloids are an attractive race... there, I said it."

Mike (commenting on above)


Mike: "So technically, we're having an orgy right now... I always thought it'd be more interesting than this."

Tim: "Don't go there, Mike"

Mike, after Kathleen made the remark that an "orgy" is technically every time an occasion where everyone has their shoes off.


"So Alex... is in bed... with three girls... and clothes are being thrown out the door. Is this going to get more incriminating?"

Mike, commenting on the situation we saw.


Mike: "You know what I'm thinking?"
Tim: "I don't think any of us want to know that"


"Don't tell your mother about any of this"

Mike, commenting to Graham and Kathleen about the things we've been saying one night


Graham: "In Lord of the Rings, Wolverine had his claws..."

Tim: "Did you just say 'in Lord of the Rings, Wolverine had claws'?!"


"... learn a lesson from me - keep your mouth shut and you won't say stupid things!"

Kathleen, giving Mike some much needed advice


"Why can't I move this plane?!"

Me: "Because you're dead, dumbass"

Puiyan, while playing Lawrence's fighter jet game


Me: "We better open the ice cream in here... I don't want to get my gloves dirty"

"Yeah, that, and our ice cream will freeze outside"

Patrick, when we were eating ice cream in -24C weather

"I never realized things could go that far up me..." -- Puiyan
" I remember drawing a single line. That's it. Draw line, move on. " -- Murat

"That exam wrote me" -- Tom

"I've never been owned this badly - but at the same time I've never been this calm after being owned" -- Me

"True or false: did you fail 324? TRUE!" -- Charlton

"Cut that exam like a blunt axe through stone" -- Jason Luu

Reactions after ECE 324 midterm


Puiyan: "I want chips. I mean, like a big bag of chips"

(I open up my drawer and take out a bag of chips)

Puiyan: "Is there anything you DON'T have?!"

Me: "A life?!"

While working on our RTOS project


"So, this is either missing two 'j's or one 'h'" (referring to either the complex 'j' or the cosh function)

"(our prof) is on crack"

"He's smoking some strong (...) ganja"

"Mazumdar win... CASUALITY!"

Anonymous 342 student, making comments about a ECE 342 solution


"Wait! Is that an inverse z-transform, or is that just 1/z multiplied by that function??!"

Wood, looking at the ECE 342 solutions


"So that's just a malformed plus sign and not a minus 1?!"

"I got kicked. Multiple times... it hurt"

Me, talking about ECE 342


"I'm going to make a big batch of noodles next term... wait. (point) You're gone, (point) you're gone, and (point) you're gone next term."

Wood, while we were studying for ECE 316


Pam: "Jeff! Jeff! *points to me* He'd know what wontons are made of!"

Toni: "what?!"

Me: *blink* "Did I hear you say what I thought I heard you say?

Random conversation after going to McDonalds one night for ice cream


Pam: "So aren't you going to eat your steak with chopsticks?"

Me: "No... I know how to use a fork and knife too."

Pam: "It's so odd! I've never seen you eat with a fork and knife before!"

Me: "Okay. I will eat my steak with chopsticks. Watch me."

Pam: "No, no... go on!"

Me: "No! Now you've proposed a challenge... I take that challenge!"
More random conversation with Pam in Stratford. I ended up eating an entire steak with my chopsticks, and veggies and a potato.


Me: "Leave it to Windows to make sure the most dangerous option is the default "
Fraser: "What now?"
Me: "oh, just the login thing, and also the delete button"
Fraser: "Oh right"

*long pause*
Me: "(I'm waiting for your usual "on my mac..." speil now )"
Fraser: "Oh, I almost forgot. On my Mac, the defaults are always to the option that does not loose any data, though you can still choose buttons without clicking the mouse with shortcut combinations (not button tabbing, which is just terrible)"
Me: "heh... excellent"
Fraser: "Thanks for reminding me, I almost missed a ranting opportunity!"

Talking with one of my coworkers at FAG... Fraser's an really big Mac-a-holic :)

Toni: "So, I just took a personality test to tell what me what breed of dog I'd be... it turns out that I'm a St. Bernard"

Chris: "Oh really? I woulda thought you'd be a Shitzu"

Toni: "Huh?"
Chris: "A little shit-zu"


A conversation in Stratford


"So on the agenda: 1. discuss outstanding issues, 2. production outages, 3. zing Fraser about his Mac, 4. roadblocks, 5. new project proposals, 6... "

"Wait, did I hear you just say 'zing Fraser'?"

"Wow, we should so put that on the agenda to see what happens"

Discussion at FAG one day about a meeting; we just decided one day that Fraser needed to be zinged over his macaholism.


Keith: you're so evil
Keith: maybe more evil than me
Jason: that truly IS a compliment :P
Keith: lol
Jason: as if being a TA wasn't evil enough
Jason: oh wait, is THAT why Charlton hates me :P
Keith: lol, i don't think he hates you
Keith: tho at one point, i had a game handle of TAs Must Die
Keith: i liked destroying people with than handle
Keith: especially TAs

Random MSN discussion with Keith, at FAG. Charlton was one of my students when I was a WEEF TA


"Oh my gosh, that's so cool! A lavender bedsheet-toga!"

Alaina - commenting on my not white, not purple, not blue, not mauve fitted bedsheet I used for toga


"I don't think I've read words in a textbook since high school!"

Ghrace, commenting on her ECON midterm


Justin: I think I got marked by Barby
Me : Oh, you got marked by MK Barby
Justin: Ahh... I got marked by the girl Barby

*sidetracked to a conversation about Ken and Barbie*
Justin: Didn't they break up or something?
Wood: Who broke up? Are Ken and Barbie real people??

Random conversation during a Saturday study session


Puiyan: I don't think I can read this while I'm half awake.

Me: I don't think you can read this if you're FULLY awake!

Talking about ECE 355


Man, that guy breathes sleeping gas. I don't know how or why, but every time I go to his class I fall right asleep.

Me, talking about ECE 355.

Puiyan: "Am I in your way?"

Peter: "No, I'm just breathing in the exhaust from your laptop"

Peter and Puiyan


Me: "I have a question: who cares about this, and why should I give a rat's a**?"

Chap: "Because it's a core course"

Me: *groan*

ECE 355


"The beatings will stop when morale improves"

Class motto coined by Steve


"My BS was very fragrant… he took one whiff of it and decided that I should get a 20/25"

Peter, about the 427 exam


"Having a girlfriend is like taking a 6th course"


Justin: "What year is it?"
Me: "2005"
Justin: REALLY??! I thought it was more like 2003!
Jason: No... there's no way I'd go back to first (or second) year

Random conversations in the RTOS lab


Justin: "I am fully prepared to take this exam"
Me: "Do you mean 'fully prepared' or 'fully prepared to get [killed]?'"
Justin: "The second one"

ECE 380


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