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Okay, I got lazy. So here's the unedited form of some quotes that have been collected by Linda:

 

Mr. McDouall: I want to find the equation of the tangent. How do I find the equation without asking Leo?!

 

Mr. McDouall: You know you'll have Mr. Greenwood tomorrow.
Mr. Greenwood?!

 

Mr. Leatham: .an emission was emitted.well, I guess it wouldn't be an emission if it weren't emitted.
.we used to be able to do an analytical analysis.
You don't say.

 

Greeny: Usually, we use 'particle' to refer to something very small.like Vishal's brain.
.if we drop something *drops pen*, it has no initial velocity. If we throw something *throws pen*.it breaks.aaaaaand, it has an initial velocity!

 

Phoebe: [to Linda] Wow! Your knowledge increases without even going out to look for any!
Phoebe's surprise after Linda knew an answer to a question even though she wasn't there when they learnt it.

 

From the Lion King:
Simba: Uncle, you're weird.
Scar: You have no idea.

 

Toby: You're evil.
Mr. Leatham: You have no idea.

 

SSC hustings (?) 2003

 

Aaron and Ivan's speech was two minutes of silence.
Paul: This is my question.*silence*.can you answer it?
Aaron: Yes, this is my answer.*silence*.

 

Jason Ng's speech was about condoms.
Someone: A condom isn't 100% effective. Are you saying you're not going to be very successful?
Jason: I'm just one member in the council. There are 14 members in the council. If you wore 14 condoms at a time, are you telling me we're not going to be successful?

 

Angela and Adrian's speech was about making our dreams come true.
Jeran: You said you'd make all our SSC related dreams come true. I dream of flying from the SSC to TST. Make me.

 

Athletics day 2004

 

Shubhangi: Aren't they cold?!
Linda: They love you.
Shubhangi: They're insane!
Shubhangi was referring to the year 8s in their PE kit. It was drizzling and windy and Linda wasn't really listening.

 

Linda: [sings] Raindrops are falling on my head.
Mr. Greenfield: [sings] Sing that again and you'll be dead.

 

Shubhangi: Give me five!
[Linda gives her five]
Linda: *pause* .why?
Proof of how slow Linda is.

 

Ying Qi: Hey, Ms. Tapp is marshalling the high-jump!
Linda: Oh.
Ying Qi: No wait.it's Mr. Greenfield.
Linda: Oh? How could you get them mixed up?!
Ying Qi: No wait! It IS Ms. Tapp!
Linda: Ok, where is this Tapp/Greeny person?
Ying Qi: There!
Linda: Um.that's Rachel.
Ying Qi needs glasses, period.

 

Random quotes from school

 

Ms. Tapp: The voltmeters with the shweeping arm thingies.

 

Phoebe: There was a bunny,
It's nose was runny,
You think it's funny?
It's not!
Phoebe's song. Say it fast.

 

Linda: Where are you going?
Bettina: I'm going to drink my lunch.

 

Sherman: Is this your writing?
Takazumi: Yeah.
Sherman: It's flamboyant.
Takazumi: As in it's rubbish, right?
Ivan: Flamboyant means flammable, right?
Ying Qi needs glasses and Ivan needs a dictionary.

 

Shubhangi: [to Ying Qi and Linda] How do I know you guys?
Ying Qi: We're gay.
. . .

 

Linda: [talking about a restaurant somewhere] Yeah, we went on my birthday remember?
Ying Qi: You have a birthday?
This became Ying Qi's favourite phrase. He always mentions it on someone else's birthday. "Linda doesn't have a birthday"

 

Leo: Anymore questions? I'm going to wash -
Linda: TV?
Leo: .no.the dishes.
Ying Qi needs glasses, Ivan needs a dictionary and Linda needs hearing aids.

 

Shubhangi: A peanut isn't a nut, did you know that?
Linda: Really. So what is it?
Shubhangi: Actually.wait.is a peanut a nut? Yeah it is. But wasn't there this nut that wasn't a nut?
Linda: Yeah, you're a nut that isn't a nut.
Some random conversation one morning in registration.

 

Dr. Checkland: [reading the bulletin] A lost wallet has been.lost.
That same morning, while reading the bulletin.

 

Anne-Marie: It smells like spaghetti bolognaise.and Darvesh.
Random French conversation. They were sitting outside.

 

Greeny: There are populations, sampling units, sampling frames and ugly people standing outside our classroom looking in at us like we were monkeys in a zoo.
A stats lesson. The two people standing outside were Hilary and Justin.

 

Vishal: I have a negative ass.

 

Linda: Let's go around the mall with our ties around our heads.
When Bettina asked Linda what she wanted to do afterschool.

 

Linda: Don't do that Ying Qi, you look ugly.
Ying Qi: [typical expressionless face and monotone voice] Oh, I'll revert to my normal beautiful self then.

 

Greeny: Work handed in early, arrived on time.are you ill??
Talking to Sherman when she gave in a test paper.

 

Darvesh: Your hair's taller than you!
Darvesh talking to Kelvin during French.

 

Sherman: Did you hear that Mr. Leatham? He said he wanted to kill me!
Mr. Leatham: Do it quietly Ivan.and don't make a mess in the lab.
Rather self-explanatory.

 

Shubhangi's birthday party 2004

 

Shubhangi: [to Sherman] You know what I hate about talking to you when you have those [sunglasses] on? I can see myself in them and I can see how stupid I look. It's demoralizing.

 

Shubhangi: Please! I do not want to see my face - it's so ugly!
*pause*
.I didn't say that.
Same as above

 

Jason: (someone) isn't stupid.
*silence*
.Ok, maybe she is.
HAHAHAHA (ask, you can find out who it is)

 

Sherman: Oops! Sorry, forgot about you!
Speaking to CSY on the phone.

 

Back to school quotes.

 

Ms. Tapp: So, YOU'RE the one that everyone's supposed to know about.
Ms. Tapp talking to Jason.

 

[Ying Qi talking about his stove catching fire.]
Sherman: Why didn't you cover it with a leather towel? They don't catch fire.
Leo: Oh really.
Sherman: Well, you don't see bulls catching fire!
She has a point there...

 

Sherman: Good day!
Mr. Leatham: It WAS.
In the corridor one day.

 

Sherman: Hello!
Greeny: Hello, how was your day?
Sherman: Good, until now.
In another corridor one day.

 

Jing: I feel like a monkey on a pizza.

Jing: I'm a snail *wiggles hands* slime, slime.

 

Sherman: Am I overheating?
Linda: Yeah, as usual.
Sherman: I'm burning my brain out! Wait.what brain?

 

Mr. Leatham: He's [author of 'Practice in Physics'] the big boss god man. He knows everything.
Toby: Does he know our grade boundaries and stuff?
Mr. Leatham: No, he has other people do that. He's far too important.

 

Mr. Leatham: He [same guy as above] stresses that we need to know weight.*pause*.Ok, we 'waited' long enough.
Then, it's reaction.*looks at Henry and recoils*.UGH! Ok.
Then, it's tension.*tenses up*
Toby: No, that's constipation.
Mr. Leatham: No, that's the next one.friction!
Talking about what we needed to know for the PHY1 exam.

 

Mr. Leatham: He [still same guy] also said that you need to know how to convert Hertz into base units.
Toby: Hertz?
Mr. Leatham: Yes, my hand hurts. I cut it on glass.
Sherman: Ow.
Toby: How?
Matthew: Wow.
Physics. Mr. Leatham had a bandage on his hand.

 

Jason: What happened to the sun-dried potatoes.er.tomatoes.

 

Shubhangi: I cannot let people defy logic.except for that time I defied gravity.
Talking about some amazing feat when she and Takazumi managed to completely defy the laws of physics in an experiment.

 

Phoebe: Why didn't you write the definitions Leo?
Leo: I didn't regard them to be Math. It's too.englishy.
Phoebe: Well, I don't regard it to be English.
Linda: Ok, so you don't think it's Math, you don't think it's English, why don't we just call it Bio?
Talking about a math question which required a definition of something.

 

Linda: What is WRONG with you?!
Shubhangi: You want to know what's wrong with me? The list would be longer than a toilet roll.

 

Ms. Hannaby: You should love Mondays! It's another exciting start!
Bettina: .to another boring week.
Ms. Hannaby's attempt to wake 12N up in registration.

 

Ying Qi: You guys should be the voice actresses for the next Jurassic Park.
Commenting on the strange sounds Sherman and Linda make during Math.

 

Linda: Did you zip up your button?

 

Ying Qi: [wooden face, monotone voice] Oh, look, it's so windy.we're all gonna die.
On the bus one morning.

 

Maggie: We have nothing against her but her, right Tina?
Tina: Who's her?
Maggie talking about someone 'they' dislike.

 

Bettina: I can imagine Jason Pang in a bikini.like, two pink coconuts and a hula skirt.*pause*.it's not like I WANT to imagine it, but when I walked under the ICT room, I just thought "Jason. Bikini. ICT room. Teaching."
Bettina and her strange mind.

 

Mr. Leatham: It's a potato.with a nose.
Jeffrey Wu: It's Mr. Leatham!
Linda: Uh.no, it's internal energy.
Linda had to draw some diagram or other and it looked vaguely like this.

 

Shubhangi: OMG, there're 50 quotes! That's like, that's like.half of a hundred!
Hm.well done Shubhangi.

 

[Sherman screams]
Ivan: What did you see, Sherman?
Sherman: Your face!

 

Sherman: If you eat lots of plums, will your poo conduct electricity?
All those useful questions asked in Physics.

 

Mr. McDouall: It's e^x², the x² is being 'e'-ed.

 

Shubhangi on MSN: What about a ballerina?
Ying Qi on phone: Oh, don't listen to her, she's a devil and a 17-year-old at that.
Jason on MSN: *points to shubhangi* Heh heh heh heh heh heh.

Asking for the opinions of several people about what Albert should wear for "book day".

 

Ying Qi: Should I bring in my fife?
Linda: Sure, ok.
Ying Qi: Ok.*pause*.[accusingly] why should I?
Linda: .O-kay.

 

Ying Qi's variations of the song "You are so beautiful to me."
Ying Qi: You are an idiot.to me.

You are impossible.to kill.

 

Ying Qi: I have a new quote, but it's kinda old.
Linda: Go on.
Ying Qi: Like when you say "OMG, Sherman's sleeping." I say "Sherman can sleep?"
Linda: Oh, like "Sherman can think?"
Ying Qi: Yeah, like "You have a birthday?"

 

Anne-Marie: Je suis chaud.
"Je suis chaud" means "I'm horny."
I think she was trying to say "J'ai chaud" or "I'm hot."

 

After Karnival 2004 at the bus stop

 

Nancy: Isn't your life brightened now that you met me?
Ying Qi: More like shattered.
Nancy: Shattered, brightened, same difference.

 

Nancy: You're gonna have a kid just like me when you grow up!
Linda: How could you curse me like that?!
Ying Qi: I feel so sorry for you...

 

Linda: That's the third bus no. 16 I've seen so far.
Ivan: Omg, there're two 16's in a row!
Linda: .no.that's.omg, that's 3 16's in a row!
Ying Qi: No.it's 4 in a row!
[people running to catch no. 16 bus]
Ying Qi: What are they running for? They'll never miss it, there're 4!
4 no. 16 buses came at the same time and were all lined up.

 

Nancy: Where's your [Ying Qi] girlfriend?
Linda: She left him.
Ying Qi: A year ago.
Nancy: Who was she?
Ying Qi: I'm not telling you, you'll go and harass her.
Nancy: Was it that girl who was taking baby photos? [ie - SHUBHANGI!]
Shubhangi and Ying Qi.muahahahaha!

 

When Nancy first saw Jason.
UGH! He's so ugly!

 

EDEN assembly.

 

Sherman: ".where the department kept the PE department.uh.equipment."
Sherman was nervous.

 

Ms. Clarke: ".After consulting the other PE department.or equipment.whichever you prefer.I know we're easy to mix up."
Later on in the assembly

 

Mr. Wightman: Sherman, turn me on.
Sherman: What?!
Mr. Wightman: [points to projector] Turn me on!
The OHP wasn't on.

 

Shubhangi: Well I ate loads of food today. I mean, I ate lunch. An apple.
Linda: Woah, an apple. That'll stuff you, that will.
No wonder she's always sick. An apple = loads of food.

 

Sherman: I've never used one [urinal] before.
Ching Sum: How could you not have used one? *pause* Oh.
Gee, he's slow too.

 

Ivan: Your connection's fluctuating like Sherman's temper.

 

Linda:*gasp* Shubhangi!
Ying Qi: woah.Linda swore.
Looks like Linda's not the only one who needs hearing aids.

 

Sherman: Vishal and Ying Qi sitting on a tree.K-I-S-S-I-N-G! uh.UGH

 

Shubhangi: I can't remember the last time I took a walk.

 

Ying Qi: [to Shubhangi] I think this is the first day when everyone else is sick and you're not.
HAHAHA

 

Our first chemistry mock practical.Linda got full marks.Ying Qi got one less.Jonathan Cheung got one less than Yink.

 

Ying Qi: How come YOU got 'Excellent' and I didn't even get a 'Good'?
Jonathan Cheung: I didn't even get a tick.
Commenting on Mrs. Burt's comments

 

Ying Qi: I think teachers are biased towards you, Linda. I should've gotten full marks too!
Linda: Yeah, they probably are.
Ying Qi: Yeah, so you'll get an E in the real one.
Leo: Yeah, E for 'Excellence' and we'll all get As.for 'Absolute failure'.
Leo's such a nice person :P

 

Phoebe: Linda, why do you have exist? Why, why, why, WHY?!

 

Mr. Leatham: We're going to investigate creep today.*look at Toby*
Toby: It isn't right for you to insult people you know.
Mr. Leatham: Yeah, yeah, Tony.
Tony was NOT a typo.

 

Ying Qi: Leo, Mr. McDouall is 38 years old.
Leo: Ying Qi, you're seriously putting me off Maths.
Linda: Why?
Leo: I don't want to look like I'm 60 when I'm 20 something.
Linda: Oh.too late.

 

Shubhangi: My internet's messed up so I'm going to get a new computer.
Internet messed up.therefore new computer.

 

Linda: [to Shubhangi] You've got like every disease in the world except cancer.
Bettina: She's got AIDS?

 

Shubhangi: [to Linda] You're the only person I know who can be so mean, I mean, like without sounding mean.you know what I mean?
Mean mean mean.

 

Greeny: Do you have work to hand in Sherman? I thought it was against your religion to hand in work to be marked.
Again, Sherman's math papers.

 

Ying Qi: You know what Sherman did wrong? She put all the wrong numbers in the calculator. So, everything's right until you get to the answer. Normally, everything's WRONG until you reach the answer.
Sherman's remarkable skill with the calculator.

 

Insults to Linda from teachers.

 

Mr. Leatham: After all these years of knowing you, Linda, I never thought you to be a pathetic person.but that was just.pathetic.

His response after Linda answered a question by saying "I don't know.I'm tiiiiiiiired!"

 

Mr. McDouall: .I'll remember the mark scheme and mark all of them and then some idiot like Linda comes along and hands it in late and I need to memorise the mark scheme again.

Mr. McDouall explaining that we should hand in our work on time. It was an example.

 

Mrs. Rowark: Aren't you cold?
Linda: Nope!
Mrs. Rowark: *sigh* No sense, no feeling.
On the stairs one winter morning.

 

Sherman: Mr. Leatham, you're turning into a chemist!
Mr. Leatham: You couldn't have insulted me more, I'm greatly offended.
Linda: Mr. Leatham, you're turning into a biologist!
Mr. Leatham: ARGH!!!
When making nylon in Physics.

 

Oxymoron of the century:
'Successful biologist'

 

Sherman: [to Ching Sum] No, don't lose your belly! It's the only thing I like about you.
HAHAHAHAHA

 

Mrs. Eaglestone: Mrs. Burt wasn't feeling good so she had to go home.
Sherman: Oh no! Is she feeling alright?
Mrs. Eaglestone: No.hence the need to go home.

 

Prefect selection.who to bribe.

 

Brandon: So what does Mr. Pritchard like?
Sherman: Oh, he likes coconut cookies!
Ying Qi: Oh yeah, he told our class.
Brandon: [to Phoebe] The other bio class knows he likes coconut cookies! We're screwed!

 

Sherman: Apparently he [Mr. Goff] goes to Thailand every weekend.
Ying Qi: My French teacher goes to England every weekend.
Brandon: They must be super duper rich.
Ying Qi: I go home everyday.
Ying Qi's so clueless.

 

Over the phone with Jing and Ying Qi:

Ying Qi: Wow, her laughs are so pixelised!
Commenting on Jing's nutcase laugh. (Linda and Nadia have also commented on this.)

 

Ching Sum: So I can call 2727xxxx and ask for Albert and your dad will pick up?
Sherman: Um.Albert is that kid.brother.
Linda: HA! Albert is YOUR dad!
Ching Sum's mom's called Linda and his dad's called Albert. He wanted to talk to Linda's dad because he's an "economist".

 

Sherman: I called you out cos I thought you'd ditch us anyway.
Jason: If you thought I'd ditch you, why bother asking me to come out?
Sherman's logic. Can't live without it.

 

Shubhangi: You know I'm dumb.*pause*.sometimes.

 

Ying Qi: OMG, what's WRONG with Newton?!?! I wish that apple was heavier so that he died!
Talking about Newton's 'invention' of calculus.

 

Leo: I'm stuck.
*Linda gasps*
.on the first question of P1!
*everyone gasps*
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN

 

Linda: Leooooooooo, helpppppppppp
Leo: Oh, that question? Do it.
Linda: You're supposed to help!
Leo: I have to see you mess up first, so I can laugh at you.
Nice guy, is Leo.

 

Rachel: I need to find the equation of the line between two imaginary points.
Imaginary.hm.

 

Ying Qi: You're so strange.
Linda: And?
Ying Qi: And.that's all I can say.
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN

 

Mr. Wightman: So.Ying Qi wants reproduction.plants & humans.
Going through what topics people wanted extra revision on.

 

Semi: Everyone must have a geekiness inside to be smart. You're just dumb. [to Tina]
On the bus, when Tina called her a geek.

 

Ms. Tapp: These results were.disturbingly good.
Commenting on PHY2 mock papers.

 

Mr. Leatham: Now, why don't we say "amount of"?
Toby: Because it's a chemistry unit.evil units.

 

Ying Qi: Why are you [Linda] always looking at me like I killed your mom or something?!

 

Ying Qi: If Alice was a plush toy with those 'Press me' things, she'd have a hundred press me's. Every English lesson, she'd make a new sound.
Ying Qi commenting on Alice's variety of strange sounds.

 

Ms. Gower: Alice has done it again, has she?
Same as above.

 

Ivan: Pick it [badminton shuttlecock] up!

Shubhangi: What, and bend down?!

 

Leo: I'll dig a mountain for you

 

Ying Qi: Induction day gets shorter and shorter every year, they should just call it induction hour.

 

Jimmy (year 7): So who doesn't do any work?

Another year 7: Me!

Jimmy: No wonder you're so skinny!

 

Shubhangi: Do you think I should take the bus home in the mornings?

 

Ying Qi: For some reason, every time I write my personal statement, I have the urge to write "Longtime member of the Bird Watching Society".

 

Ying Qi: You just made me forget what I was going to say.

Jing: What were you going to say?
Ying Qi: I forgot!

 

MSN Conversations

 

Linda - 3 more days says:
you're not going to die
Linda - 3 more days says:

if you die
Linda - 3 more days says:

uh
Linda - 3 more days says:

somehow, the threat "i'll kill you" isn't that threatening here

 

skitz. yes yes, you a big squishy wuss :D .. (squishy wuss out) says:
i'm 15.. isn't that like WOAH
skitz. yes yes, you a big squishy wuss :D .. (squishy wuss out) says:

i used to be 12!!
[jason1@toronto] says:

I'm 20. THAT's like WHOA
skitz. yes yes, you a big squishy wuss :D .. (squishy wuss out) says:

HAHAH
skitz. yes yes, you a big squishy wuss :D .. (squishy wuss out) says:

but you were always old
[jason1@toronto] says:

just slightly depressing
[jason1@toronto] says:

Gee, thanks
skitz. yes yes, you a big squishy wuss :D .. (squishy wuss out) says:

HAHHAHA

 

Bettina: shubhangi's life is like a comic book

 

"it doesn't matter what i say, it'll never go on jason's site. i mean, he never updates it!"
Shubhangi, commenting on these quotes that were never supposed to make it onto jasonpang.net.

   

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