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"So you can have your serial port, your two parallel ports... and a partridge in a pear tree."

Loucks, commenting on how versatile the Excalibur system we use in ECE 324 is

 

"It's obvious..."

"Clearly..."

"By inspection..."

"Hnnnnggggg?" (high pitched ending -- Lipshitz's version of "hmm?")

"Why, that's trivial!"

"It's quite simple, really."

(or any combination of the above)

Lipshitz's many quotes

 

"What seperates professionals from commonfolk is that professionals use language that commonfolk don't understand"

Seviora

 

"Güdt" (= "good")

Seviora

 

"We're trying to raise you in this way so that you're bad but still not as bad as lawyers."

Seviora

 

"You can't even count in binary! How are we supposed to respect you?"

"You can't subtract OR add in binary?! What's this stuff about respect?"

Austin Hung (TA)

 

"I hope he didn't take my notes... (referring to his notes for class ... person returns the handouts to the desk) Hey man! I was just making a joke!" (person takes, this time, Lipshitz's notes. Lipshitz spends five minutes at the end of the lecture looking for his notes, not knowing the person actually took them)

Lipshitz - after the lesson he was scrambling to find his notes which K* accidentally took the second times

 

"Well now, what have we here... I've proven something completely false. Okay, the correct proof is an exercise for you."

Lipshitz. It was not an easy proof

 

(Other Prof): "Wow, your students must love you for giving them an extra 15 minutes."

Lipshitz: "I don't think so."
The other prof thought that Lipshitz was nice about giving us an extra 15 minutes. Fact is the exam was so hard that nobody finished it. (Math 211 midterm)

 

"So you get your chocolate and now you're leaving?" (the two people sit back down)

Seviora, after giving the class chocolate because he asked a question and the "brave soul" who got it right would get a chocolate bar -- at the end he decided that the person's way was the ONLY way (which was what the class was arguing) -- so we all got a piece of chocolate and the guy got a chocolate BAR.

"In case you don't notice, the two people who sat down disappeared again."

 

"Just keep in mind - this is a passing pleasure whereas binary trees will be with you forever."

Seviora, while chocolate was being passed out

 

"The dances were really good when WE were young... not that I'm saying I'm old... er... nevermind, that just came out wrong"

Xi Xi Chen (TA) in response to questions about whether dances in her day (meaning 4 years ago or so) were as cruddy as they are now.

 

Lipshitz: "So, who's ever seen a Z-Transform?"

Y*: "Yeah, I've seen one."

Lipshitz: "Oh? And where was this?"

Y*: "I saw my parents doing it"

Lipshitz: "Oh really? In public?"

A rather weird student-prof conversation in class

 

"Looks like the Battle of Waterloo - I see a bunch of evidently dead bodies"

Seviora, commenting on how dead we all looked in class one day

 

"Now look here, shut up, all of you. If you don't, and I seriously mean it, I can train myself to write backwards! I can keep an eye on you and write on the board at the same time!"

Lipshitz, towards the end of term when we were all being noisy

 

"Well now, it's just another well... crafted... example."

Agnew, in his classic slow drawl

 

"Well now, is the answer REALLY 'five'? We'll see..."

Agnew

 

"Okay, may I have your permission to begin?"

Seviora, every start of lesson

 

"... hmm, the microphone died again. So, who will I victimize this time to replace my batteries"

Seviora, every time the wireless microphone cuts out

 

"And so, you've just finished in a 4 months what would be first year calculus!" (applause from class) "... in any OTHER course. But you guys are in this insanely accelerated course. So, let's begin second year calculus... or in your case, finish first year Calculus."

Ingalls, referring to our extremely accelerated Math 117b and Math 119 courses.

 

"Uh, Target. My wife buys them for me... (quizzical look) why?"
Bingalls, when asked where he got his shirts from.

 

"I don't know what you guys learn here in high school. If we were in Egypt, we'd be doing what we call third year stuff here now!"

Hegazy, referring to the level of knowledge of Canadian students.

 

"Hmm hmm hmm... what have we here? I've just proven something that's exactly the opposite of what I wanted to prove"

Nayak, ECE 103

 

Student: "So, what's the point?"
"The point is to... uh... well... you know what? I have no clue. I'll get back to you on that one."

James Munroe, on asked a question about the point of one of the exercises we were doing

 

(K* comes into class, stands (almost) in front of the OHP and in front of Fuller. He's reading the slides on the projector surface. )

Fuller: "So... uh... may I help you?"

K*: "It's okay"

Fuller continues to lecture, but is increasingly put off by the student standing there

Fuller: "Uh... if it's okay with you, please go and take a seat"

Fuller, when K* came into class and just stood. Very awkward.

 

"So thee leeeetle blue eyed beeee and the leeeetle red eyed beeee are both flying out this tiny door"

Scharer, ChE 102

 

"Effectively... "

"And effectively the compiler ineffectively manages memory..."'

Hulls, counted at using the word "effectively" (or variants) 1.08 times per minute during a 50 minute lecture.

 

"Rrrrrrright!"

Damaskinos, Phys 115/125

 

Student: "Sir, you didn't answer my question about (something)"

Damaskinos: "Well, yes, I didn't answer it for a reason. I don't think it's important"

"But I would like to know about it for the exam!"

"I have my reasons for saying (slowly...) I don't think it's that important for the exam."

"But... Ohh!"

Damaskinos, in a help session before the finals

 

"Hmm, let me see, let's just skip this question and go to the next one..."

(later)

"Sir, you didn't answer that question."

"No, I'll get to it, eventually"

(later still)

"Hm, we're out of time, so we can't cover that question"

Lipshitz, in a help session before the midterm. The question was on the midterm.

 

"Okay... we have theeees matrix a11, a12, dot dot dot, a1n..."

Ghanbari. Yes, he did say the "dot dot dot".

 

"It's your first day of class! Besides, it's a make up lecture, so I'll be gone sometime in October!"

Lipshitz, noticing the groans from the class. This was the third thing he wrote on the blackboard on the first day of lecture. How naive we were to believe the concept of make up lectures...

 

Me: "Oh man, my head's going to blow up"

Lipshitz: "We've never had that happen before, but you could be our first."

Lipshitz, after I made a comment about limits... on the first day of classes

 

"Well, knowing you first years, I knew that you guys would probably not know that tutorials were cancelled first week, so I came anyway... I don't think the other TAs showed up."

Signe Bray (TA), on the first day of classes (Interestingly, I said something similar on MY first day as a TA)

   

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